Brain Leakage

magicbeaver @ 2007-01-07T00:28:00

2007-01-07T04:28:18Z

Hey, how much d'you think i could get for an ibanez Gsr200 (bass guitar)... enough for a paintball gun, i hope.

...In This Most Vile Year of Our Lord, Two-Thousand Seven.

2007-01-01T23:27:50Z

heh, i forgot i still had this.

It's been about thirty weeks since i actually posted anything here, but I've still not much to say.
I don't know why i haven't deleted this yet, i guess it holds memories or something. I dunno.
I remember making this thing back in eighth grade, which sounded much older at the time. I remember i was "dating" Rachel Dickson, i don't remember the reason, but I think it had to do with my life at that point being dedicated to being an emo little shit.
It's hilarious how i thought back then, leading up until recently as well. i considered every little thing as an amazing ordeal, and i felt i needed to change constantly. I remember having like 20 different "religions" and like 200 little "crushes", and thinking each one was the be-all, end-all of modern society.
I think it's a positive thing though, to look back on myself and see what a hopeless moron i was, and how little i knew about the world, just a year or two ago. Shows growth.

Maybe someday I'll be lucky enough to look back on myself and see how much i suck right now.

magicbeaver @ 2006-06-02T22:13:00

2006-06-03T02:16:01Z

anybody want my rasta-coat?
It's too small...

i feel horrible.....

2006-02-03T03:37:21Z

fuck.... i just accidently erased my whole numerous-paragraphed entry about how i'm going insane...

alright... i'll write it over....

So...yeah, i think i might be going crazy... and not "stir-crazy" or anything... more "actual asylum-crazy"

Last night i woke up more absolutely terrified than i had ever been in my entire life... I was without the ability to move any of my limbs or anything, or even breathe properly. I was laying there for like 1 or 2 minutes( but it felt like hours), gasping for air and trying desperately to scream or kick or move or anything... but i couldn't do anything...
Also, my back muscles were being sort of spastic, when i was trying to move... which made it feel like my bed was pulsating or something... adding to my "freaking the fuck out"

...not to mention the 2 or 3 nightmares i had right before that... they were completely lucid in the beginning gradually changing into an abstract interpretation of complete madness and horror...all in the time frame of about 15 minutes... I'm afraid to sleep...

bleh...

and also, when i woke up later in the morning, i was completely certain that it was Easter...not scary at all... but i still think i'm delerious...

Meh, Now i have to go back to bed, because my parents want me to get a "good night's sleep", because i'm sick... great.

oh, and... there's no way i'm gonna be in school tomorrow...

magicbeaver @ 2005-10-23T17:50:00

2005-10-23T21:54:50Z

Happy One-Hundredth Entry!

My hair is purple.

.....This song REALLY reminds me of my childhood....

magicbeaver @ 2005-09-18T23:11:00

2005-09-19T03:18:41Z

this is the 7th time in four days that i've glanced at the clock and it was 11:11...

in 4 days ive only missed one.... that's fucked up...

also, my livejournal is fucked up... it split the friends page in half. It shows half of jamie's "green line" entry up in the top page border where there's not supposed to be text and the other half all the way at the bottom, overlapping other stuff...

w/e

magicbeaver @ 2005-08-13T19:35:00

2005-08-13T23:39:16Z

NEW WORLD ORDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uh... i'm back from camp.... good times...
can anyone take me to the warped tour tomotrrow?, i'd gladly duct tape myself to the roof of your car if i'd need to.

w/e... more later.. "boffing" is veryvery fun

~Omelet

magicbeaver @ 2005-06-11T23:26:00

2005-06-12T03:28:33Z

"I'll draw you a picture,
I'll draw it with a twist,
I'll draw it with a razorblade,
I'll draw it on my wrist.
And if I draw it correctly,
a red fountain will appear...
to wash away my sorrows,
to chase away my fears."
-Anonymous

goodnight.

magicbeaver @ 2005-05-15T12:02:00

2005-05-15T16:33:36Z

magicbeaver @ 2005-05-14T23:00:00

2005-05-15T03:02:38Z

I had a dream last night that I went to a house in the woods, some of you guys came over and we all started to play capture the flag. It was pleasant. Then Bam Margera came over. But i didn't really want him there so i killed him with a shotgun. the end.

magicbeaver @ 2005-05-04T22:47:00

2005-05-05T02:47:51Z

the letter zero

magicbeaver @ 2005-04-08T19:41:00

2005-04-08T23:42:01Z

i'm glad i stayed after school :)
oh and i got my trenchcoat. Its t3h sex.

my mom didnt buy eggs...

2005-03-27T00:12:39Z

guess who's stealing this from sam?....

[x] on the cheek.
[x] on the lips.
[x] on their hands or fingers.
[] in my room.
[] in their room.
[] of the same sex.
[x] of the opposite sex.
[x] younger than me.
[x] older than me.
[] with jet black hair.
[] with curly hair.
[x] with blonde hair & blue eyes.
[] with flaming red hair.
[x] with straight hair.
[x] smaller/shorter than me.
[] bigger/taller than me.
[x] with a lip ring.
[] on the bare butt.
[] who was drunk.
[] who was high.
[] who I had just met.
[x] who was homosexual.
[] who I didn't really want to kiss.
[] on a holiday.
[] who was going out with someone else.
[] who was going out with someone close to me.
[] who was my good friend's brother or sister.
[] who had been/is in jail.
[] in a graveyard.
[] at a show/concert.
[x] at the beach.
[x] in a pool, jacuzzi, or some type of water.
[x] who was legally too young/old for me to have sex with. (i'm legally to young to have sex with...)
[x] with dyed hair.
[] with a shaved head.
[x] who was/is my good friend.
[x] who was/is in a band.
[x] who has tattoos.
[] who is of a completely different race than me.
[x] in the rain.
[] in another continent besides where I was born.
[] with an accent.
[] with an STD.
[x] on a boat.
[x] in a car/taxi/bus.
[] on a plane.
[] at the circus/carnival.
[] with a missing body part.
[] in the movies.
[] eskimo style.
[] who had brothers that I kissed as well.

magicbeaver @ 2005-03-20T22:31:00

2005-03-21T03:38:14Z

I think i'll go with "purple with black streaks", or something of the sort.

magicbeaver @ 2005-03-20T19:29:00

2005-03-21T00:35:40Z

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	Raziel Lucifer HaMalach.....i mean John...
Birthday:	may 30, 91
Birthplace:	mount kisco......shut up.......
Current Location:	mount kisco......shut up.......more......
Eye Color:	green/hazel/goldish
Hair Color:	blond/brown
Height:	5'8, i believe
Right Handed or Left Handed:	righty
Your Heritage:	german....... and CHEROKEE!!! native americans pwn!
The Shoes You Wore Today:	steel toe boots w/ red laces
Your Weakness:	i think i'm overly trusting and sensitiveish
Your Fears:	losing my memory/totally paralyzed...fates worse than death
Your Perfect Pizza:	i like the french bread kind
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	love someone who loves me back.....yaddayadda
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	you tell me.
Thoughts First Waking Up:	it was only a dream....fuck.....
Your Best Physical Feature:	none of the above
Your Bedtime:	whenever my parents get bored of me
Your Most Missed Memory:	i duno....camp?
Pepsi or Coke:	coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:	i dont eat balls of fatty acid, sorry
Single or Group Dates:	for a good relationship, you need both
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	chinese tea
Chocolate or Vanilla:	strawberry. or rocky road
Cappuccino or Coffee:	both! yay caffine!!!!
Do you Smoke:	yes...i enjoy the taste of tar and rat poison... next question
Do you Swear:	not all that much....
Do you Sing:	to myself, deep voicishly
Do you Shower Daily:	almost everyday, sometimes my sister uses all the hot water.
Have you Been in Love:	i think so...
Do you want to go to College:	yeah
Do you want to get Married:	YesIneeed
Do you belive in yourself:	not really, but i'm trying to
Do you get Motion Sickness:	yes...and i fucking hate it..... i cant read on cartrips....
Do you think you are Attractive:	nobody has ever said so in my entire life.....
Are you a Health Freak:	nah
Do you get along with your Parents:	is "i wish you were never born" ...getting along?
Do you like Thunderstorms:	very much, but they scare my dog to the max and i feel bad
Do you play an Instrument:	bass...very poorly
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	yess maam
In the past month have you Smoked:	bleuch
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	noooooo
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	nope
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	last week?
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	no, i eat about 3 oreos a year (not boxes)
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	bout 5 hours ago
In the past month have you been on Stage:	not preforming anything,,,,
In the past month have you been Dumped:	no, because i wasnt dating anyone
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	not since a few years ago
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	i stole your mom
Ever been Drunk:	not seriously
Ever been called a Tease:	i really doubt it.
Ever been Beaten up:	when i refused to fight back, sorta, but i didnt really get too hurt
Ever Shoplifted:	accidentally
How do you want to Die:	i am going to consume my own head.....someone will decapitate me and shove it down my esophogus.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	artist, psychologist, creative writing, emporor of Chad.
What country would you most like to Visit:	maybe japan
*In a Boy/Girl..*
Favourite Eye Color:	really doesnt matter
Favourite Hair Color:	highlighty?
Short or Long Hair:	long
Height:	usually < me.
Weight:	doesnt matter unless it's like....grotesque
Best Clothing Style:	i duno....sexy.....gothy.....
Number of Drugs I have taken:	whatever, not addicted
Number of CDs I own:	dont care, but music obsessed= good
Number of Piercings:	any, id rather it didnt get in the way of kissing.:p
Number of Tattoos:	not too many...0 or 1 or 2ish is fine
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	i really dont care, as long as they kick ass
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

magicbeaver @ 2005-03-06T19:40:00

2005-03-07T01:07:34Z

I was taking a 2-hour long walk through the neighborhood to think about stuff (it's what i do when i'm alone)....

I was in the process of remembering things, when i realized just how much cooler i was as a little kid than everyone else.
I suppose, up until now i never really thought about it because i was an outcast, due to my being different. I spent the majority of my free time in elementry school pacing around the black-top, listening to music and whatnot. People viewed me as a loser becasue i didn't coincide with what was "good" at the time...

While the entire world was listening to N'sync and Brittany Spears, i was listening to The Beatles and The Red Hot Chili Peppers
Later, when the population moved on to Eminem and 50 cent, I was the weird dork who's favorite band was Thursday.
When we played "Capture the King" I would be the one to rebel against my team and end up killing everybody in the whole game...

And now that the world has caught up to me and my awesomeness, i'm still not cool...
I wouldn't have it any other way :P

magicbeaver @ 2005-02-24T21:27:00

2005-02-25T02:27:27Z

Hello All! Happy Friendship Day to you human-types and such. snowy-snowy-snowy Not much to update 'bout... My parents have a cool friendish guy over; they've been loudly speaking of politics for 9 hours straight. Um.....whatever then........ We should all go bowling or something tomorrow

magicbeaver @ 2005-02-21T17:01:00

2005-02-21T22:01:48Z

Tarzan walking with Jane is clean
Tarzan swinging with Jane is Dirty
To manufacture is clean
To make is Dirty
Telephone operator is clean
Call Girl is Dirty
Moisture is clean
Sweat is Dirty
A fast move is clean
A Quickie is Dirty
A sprite is clean
A little fairy is Dirty
Queen Victoria is clean
Victoria's Secret is Dirty
"my hammer" is clean
"my tool" is Dirty
Kiss whom? is clean
Kiss what? is Dirty
Comma is clean
Period is Dirty
Touch is clean
Feel is Dirty
Dry is clean
Wet is Dirty
Henry Longfellow is clean
Henry's Longfellow is Dirty
Mother is clean
MOTHER! is Dirty

um.....yeah........

If anybody can think of others, it will be appreciated muchly

Oh...Hillary... I had fun last night (dirty)... But seriously...twas cool. We should hang out again sometime soonish ^__^

magicbeaver @ 2005-02-20T09:11:00

2005-02-20T14:24:34Z

It's the second day of vacation and i'm already bored as hell...... all of us who are not elsewhere should hang out and whatnot...

P.S. I'm going to spamalot!

--Omlet--

magicbeaver @ 2005-02-16T20:57:00

2005-02-17T01:59:07Z

i don't think i've done this before.

What would you say and/or do IF...

» I committed suicide:
» I said I liked you:
» I kissed you:
» I lived next door to you:
» I started smoking:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
» Personality:
» Eyes:
» Face:
» Hair:
» Clothes:
» General Appearance:
» Mannerisms:
» Family:
[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Would you adore me?
[13] Are we close?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I loveable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word.
[21] What was your first impression?
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think I'll get married?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I would kill someone

respond?......Pweeze??????

magicbeaver @ 2005-02-15T17:11:00

2005-02-15T22:11:23Z

FRIENDS ONLY!

magicbeaver @ 2005-02-13T21:53:00

2005-02-14T02:53:43Z

my friend in massachusetts is giving me some computer hacking instructions..i might be able to disable anti-download software and get AIM back :)
t'will be awesome if it works!

P.S. Hillary, concerning when you called me...I'm usually a lot more intertaining than that, sorry, I had a lot on my mind at the time

--Omlet--

magicbeaver @ 2005-02-13T18:39:00

2005-02-14T00:22:09Z

I was at the city all day..some kinda "chinese newyear" parade that my parents wanted to see.
We spent 2 hours out in the cold walking through those orange gate thingys in central park, i didn't find it too interesting.
Chinatown was fucking packed, we wasted a long time getting able to see the parade, which really sucked anyway. freezing my ass off for 7 hours in not my idea of fun.

It seems as though everyone had a good time without me...

Whell. 2morro's Valentines Day! Amplifing the fact that nobody really cares if i'm alive or not..
I'm like a filler of a person..just kinda hanging around..
good for an occasional laugh but nothing more.
Fine and dandy if I show up but i'm not worth going out of your way to invite

noone has called me since mid January
I don't want to be depressed all the time, but it's hard not to be when nobody on earth cares enough to give me a fucking phonecall...

--Omlet--

magicbeaver @ 2005-02-12T13:19:00

2005-02-12T18:21:22Z

Positively Fourth Street
Bob Dylan
-------------------------------
You got a lotta nerve
To say you are my friend
When I was down
You just stood there grinning

You got a lotta nerve
To say you got a helping hand to lend
You just want to be on
The side that's winning

You say I let you down
You know it's not like that
If you're so hurt
Why then don't you show it

You say you lost your faith
But that's not where it's at
You had no faith to lose
And you know it

I know the reason
That you talk behind my back
I used to be among the crowd
You're in with

Do you take me for such a fool
To think I'd make contact
With the one who tries to hide
What he don't know to begin with

You see me on the street
You always act surprised
You say, "How are you?" "Good luck"
But you don't mean it

When you know as well as me
You'd rather see me paralyzed
Why don't you just come out once
And scream it

No, I do not feel that good
When I see the heartbreaks you embrace
If I was a master thief
Perhaps I'd rob them

And now I know you're dissatisfied
With your position and your place
Don't you understand
It's not my problem

I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
And just for that one moment
I could be you

Yes, I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
You'd know what a drag it is
To see you
--------------------------------------------

um....yeah

magicbeaver @ 2005-02-08T21:53:00

2005-02-09T03:00:09Z

I feel so fucking weird....empty....

I have absolutely no feeling at all, completely emotionless...
Just sitting here crying silently and i don't know why.